Again I wake up, and all I can see is what I do wrong.
I am on a perpetual self-improvement plan. There’s an endless list of things I need to change yet I can’t seem to overcome one. Guilt is a constant companion. I am up against a wall I cannot climb.
Over and over I insult you by creating you in my image. As if you can only love like I do, when others meet my expectations, when they fulfill the requirement of treating me right. Through my eyes you are dissapointed, angry, distant, and impatient. I project on to you my own repulsion with my flaws.
Is there really love that is not eclipsed by the shadow of my failures?
You hold me in my weakness…in my imperfections. You hold me while I break down apologizing, knowing it won’t be the last time.
In your arms is healing, acceptance, peace. You remind me again it’s not about what I do or don’t do. It’s about who I am. I am your child.
Today I can say – I Am Loved. And for the first time in a while…I believe it.
Please remind me again tommorrow.